You Don’t Own Me

Olivia   April 22, 2015   11 Comments on You Don’t Own Me

I know I’m probably preaching to the choir here, but I need to rant.

On Saturday, my husband rode Shasta up to the winery and I drove over to meet him. Since I don’t like wine, he went in to do a tasting and I sat outside watching Shasta. She was having a bit of separation anxiety as she’s used to there being another horse tied with her. She kept whickering to passing strangers and calling/whinnying down the canyon in search of equine companions. She was also pawing, and spinning back and forth at the post.

from a previous weekend

As I was sitting there, I watched multiple people approach her for petting. And I had to yell over to them (I was not sitting next to her, but across a small clearing nearer to the winery) not to do that. I do not understand this. Even as a horse lover, I will ooh and aah over a pretty horse, but I would never approach one without permission. I would also not approach someone else’s dog, or bike, or car, or thing that does not belong to me. If it is not mine, I do not have a right to touch it. I’ll look from a distance or if I can find the owner ask if I can pet/touch the animal/thing.

The adults at least were decent. The one guy explained that he used to ride as a kid and loved horses and I was like, that’s great. But you’re wearing sandals and she’s jumping around being anxious about separation. Also, you know, she’s not yours and you should ask permission before approaching strange animals.

What was worse were the freaking kids. I watched one family walking over to her and the little boy (8-10ish) was swinging his hiking pole all around while walking towards her. I asked them not to approach her and the mom back talked to me in a bitchy tone “he wants to pet the horse.” And I nearly cursed them out. Who the hell cares what your kid wants? 

Does he own the horse? No.
Did he get permission from the owner to pet the horse? No.
Does you child know how to approach a horse in a safe manner? Obviously not: he’s walking towards her swinging a hiking pole around in the air.
Would you sue me if your kid got bit/trampled/injured? In a second.

She continued to allow her son to walk towards Shasta and I told them again he could not go up to her. I started standing up and she finally called the kid back.

Now, I am actually very willing to stop and allow people and well-behaved children to pet my horses when I’m out in public. I often take time out of my ride to stop and meet with people and I’m especially nice to the ones who clearly love horses – usually little girls who will starting jumping all over their parents pointing at the “horsies” when they see me coming. I won’t stop for screaming or running children though I will stop from a distance if possible and tell them to stop screaming and running if they want to see the horse. I like to explain to the kids and parents correct behavior around horses – sort of like a trail riding ambassador. Hopefully they won’t spook a future horse or get themselves injured if they know some basics.

My horses are actually very well behaved around people and even around kids – even running and screaming ones. However, we all know horses can decide on any given day or any given moment to care a lot about something they’ve never given a crap about before. And even an unconcerned horse could knock a kid down if the kid is jumping around and the horse moves its head to itch or just look at something.

However, any petting is started off by the person asking me. Not just assuming they have a right to touch my horse.

Had the parents asked me, I would have been happy to explain how to approach her and walk over to her with them. But their attitude of entitlement won them nothing but seething resentment from me. So I told them they weren’t allowed to approach or pet her. The finally walked off on their hike and I could hear them muttering to themselves.

Mutter all you want…

Anyone else have problems with people out in public?

11 thoughts on “You Don’t Own Me

  1. sarahczspots

    Copper doesn't particularly like kids when they're rowdy, so even if they calm down, I'm not 100% with them getting closer. Plus he's a twit about having his muzzle handled by strangers, which is exactly where little hands migrate. I think if they walked up calmly from the get go and went to his neck, he'd be fine, but more often than not, I tell them to keep walking. hahaha. Both of my mares loves kids though, so the pets are welcome there. Most likely when we see children it is at a show and they're are lots of horses for the petting.

  2. Olivia

    This is why I don't reward them running around and screaming. My horses may be ok with it, but I know most wouldn't be. So I try to teach kids and parents a bit about proper behavior. If they won't listen or can't because they are too loud, I just ride on past.

  3. Stephanie

    When I worked as a therapeutic riding instructor, I had to explain appropriate behavior to clients' parents and siblings frequently! When a client was done with their lesson, siblings would usually burst into the arena, yelling, and SUPER excited to pet the horse. Therapy horses are pretty bombproof, but they're still animals with minds of their own; siblings usually wouldn't be wearing appropriate footwear, either. Some parents were pretty good about enforcing the rules once I'd talked to them about it, but others continued to let kids run wild. Super annoying.

  4. Tracy Beavers

    People are crazy! I used to lease a Morgan/Welsh cross when I was in middle school. He was great to ride, but had a lot of baggage and was not very good on the ground. In fact, he was a biter. One time he bit a chuck out of a farmhand's shoulder.

    Anyways, every year I would take him to county fair, and they had dutch doors so the horses could hang their heads out. I would literally do EVERYTHING to keep spectators from petting him. Huge signs with warnings, rope a few feet out from the stall to keep people back. I even put up thick netting to act as a full door so pony couldn't stick his head out. People would literally stick their fingers through the netting and say "oh, he won't bite ME!" Crazy!!!

  5. Olivia

    I know, right? I feel like outside of standing there and yelling at them no amount of signs or ropes or anything will keep them away. Maybe it's all those movies where the young kid who doesn't know how to ride wins everything because the horse has a connection with him/her. So everyone is always thinking she won't hurt "me."

  6. Beka Burke

    Psh. Out in public? I don't even like HORSEPEOPLE touching Archie! It sends me into a blind rage and I've been known to remove people's hands from his face. I tell new horse friends that I'm going to respect their ponies and I expect them to respect mine. Don't touch him. Don't kiss him. Don't give him treats. Go pet your own pony.

    (I'm a step above in the neurosis.)

  7. Karen Burch

    I had a friend tell me that she won't allow anyone to approach, even on trail. She used to, but she stopped when one of those oh-so-friendly adults slipped her bridle off her horse's head. That, combined with the police dept getting sued over the child who was bit, is enough for me to say no. Emphatically no.

    We had an issue about a year ago with one of our dogs. She was at a shot clinic to get her Rabies shot and although she was showing all the signs of being stressed and unhappy, she was still approached by a woman who just walked up to pet her. My child knew from the time he could walk that 1) you don't touch unless you ask first, 2) you never put your face near a dog's face, and 3) some dogs are not friendly. She was told not to try and pet our dog and ignored the warning. This woman almost lost her hand and then accused us of having an aggressive dog. I calmly explained to her that "we are not a petting zoo".

    I swear the IQ of Joe Public drops daily.

  8. Olivia

    I've actually had some incidents I'm not going to air in public, so I totally get your point. I pick and chose who I let touch my horses in public. It may one day be no one.

Comments are closed.