First take a pretty palomino.
Whose ears normally look like this:
Add one shelter that your two toddlers are intent on destroying:
Add no-chew paint:
Since he doesn’t even like having his ears touched, washing them isn’t going to happen. I need to try to take some nail polish remover out and see if that’ll even work and if he’ll let me wipe them off without trying to kill me. In the meantime, I’m calling him a buckskin and comforting myself with the fact that many people pay lots of money for buckskins.
It’s that or cry.